explosion

yes, I haven't been posting, but I haven't been motivated much either. The first week after hearing about Shigeru I had a hard time getting out of bed and when I got on my bike for the first time on Thursday, I had absolutely no desire/enjoyment. That Saturday my HR (159-161bpm) told me I was at race pace but it felt really calm and my perceived effort was very low. FFwd to this past Saturday at Gatineau Grand Prix... after two months of general low intensity (my achilles) and next to nothing during the last two weeks, Gatineau was a disaster.

I was nervous and knew I didn't want to get boxed off the road but yet I managed to start near the back of the pack and to the side. Right at the start, someone started braking and I panicked and locked my rear... faaantastic. Then, someone raises their hand in the middle of the pack, I had nowhere to go and almost slowed to a start just before the first hill. Next thing I know my legs are full of lactic acid and I can't climb for my life. My HR was waay over in the 170's and I was struggling big time. Then, it starts raining. The forecast was for sun & heat - I was p*ssed. Ever since crashing on a downhill in the rain I'm hesistant about going full tilt downhill so I didn't. Then the inevitable happened and my HR just wouldn't go down. I'd love to know the max I hit. My effort was lowered buy my hr was still in the mid 160's... I couldn't recover and was dying. Then of course I feel my calves cramping... eesh. Everything that could go wrong was going wrong - except for my achilles which never acted up. After two laps I pulled off. (46km?) At least I got a helluva training ride as I haven't gone that far redline in a long time.

I got some nice compliments from 'becca's coach so I feel ok. I really have to just ride more... that lactate threshold testing is looking more and more important...

its now or never.

I'm sorry the picture is so tiny, but my scanner doesn't scan slides too well, and this had to be done in short notice. That's me on the left, and the funny squinty guy was one my best friends growing up. Nothing ever came between us; we just drifted apart over the years and living rather far from each other. Our moms called him Shigechan. He died earlier this morning in a car accident.

I have never lost someone this close to me. Ever. Last year was the first time I attended a funeral, and it wasn't someone I knew very well. As much as I keep feelings to myself, I can't help myself today. I am posting his picture here today because I would like to dedicate myself to doing Peterborough next year, in 2007, for him.

Why am I doing it for him? Simply because I cannot remember this day as the day he died. Today also happens to be my father's birthday. Instead, I will remember him on the day he got married. The day I wanted to do Muskoka Triathlon. June18th, 2006. I will obviously do Muskoka 2007 for him as well, but ultimately I will do Peterborough and I will succeed.

I find it a bit sad that death has been one of my major drives to do triathlon. Am I selfish? Maybe. The reason I started tri, or at least started to run was when my uncle died. After a long battle with a virus that he and my father had, he died. My uncle was a lot more active than my father and I simply couldn't understand. A few weeks or months later, my violin teacher, whom I have known since I was four had a stroke. It was humbling to see this great man whom I have long admired in a state where his body was failing. His mind was clear but could not control his own mouth. I can't imagine a better reason to keep doing it than to remember those who are close to me and to keep myself in as good as health as I possibly can. If not for me, than for those around me.

Shigechan, when I learned you were getting married I thought "wow, he's really growing up!". But when I saw you at your wedding, you were the same goofy, silly guy you always were. You were a kid at heart, and always will be in my memories. You've taught me more than you think, and for that I thank you. May you rest in peace and never grow up. I'm doing this for you - you were always faster than me at undokai (that's the pic, from '83) so its about time I caught up to you!

determined.

No, I'm not determined to not fill up this blog, but this has to with someone else's determination. I somehow got suckered into riding back from the west island with this superfast, crazy kid, MW. Sure enough, we were passing cars on the left and whizzing by at 40km+. Anyway, when we finally hooked up back on the bike path, this guy was riding towards us with one arm in a cast/sling and... he was missing at least 2-4 front top teeth. We just coasted next to each other and started laughing and laughing. He was definitely, *the* ugliest man we saw that day. Even uglier than the man with the hairy fat boobie chest riding a scooter on the bike path. Anyway, it was a good laugh for the day.

I better rewind to the beginning of the wek. Sunday swim, tried to run in the evening but after 25mins or so my body just felt like crap. I guess I really pushed it at Sutton-Jay. Monday I had a decent run instead, around 50mins. Tuesday I still couldn't get up for the swim, and had an easy ride on the junk bike to Lachine to watch the mardi cyclistes. Zz. Wednesday, good run, 1.10. Thursday swim - had some good drafting behind K. Friday, was supposed to take it easy, but ended up walking all over town trying to find a present for my dad's b-day. Its pretty sad how hard it is to find a tape deck around here. I could only find a demo Yamaha, and finally the Denon m-101 series but at 350$ I was hesitant. I was also surprised to see Audio cd recorders still haven't gone mainstream. Sony's was 650$, and the Yamaha with HD was well over 1000$... eesh... Anyway, I ended up getting a Tivoli radio. I had seen it a while back in the bbc mag my dad reads, but I was really impressed by the simplicity and sound. If any of you still listen to the radio, check it out. Depending on how it sounds at my parent's place, I may get one for myself. The tuning knob is sweeet.

Anyway, so this morning I agreed to meet a couple of people riding at 8am, but once I was up I was busy reading the TdFrance headlines and watching... The Littlelist Hobo on CTV hahaha. I *had* to see the end of the episode for some reason so I only met up the gang at 8:30ish. Did Summit circle maybe 5-6 times? only 2-3 at a serious effort. Then ended up sitting around talking at the lookout of Summit circle. At one point a family came by and the little girl didn't want to leave. (She pretended to not hear them when they kept calling to her - she just stared at the forest in front of us) So while being dragged by her mom, she decided to kick V's helmet which was on the ground. It was hilarious. Completely intentional and V was like "heeeeeeey!" (not in a mean way) hahaha. I ended up deciding to accompany V to his parent's place in the west island... and that's where the blog wraps around.

ps. Aki is getting FASTER. (possibly fatter too.)
pps. happy Canada day!
ppps. this Aveeno sunblock is really smooth and non-scented but I seem to look a bit roasted. I should probably stick with neutrogena... anyone try their sport version? its a couple of bucks more...